From Nomon Tim: Mindfulness is Remembering

I was at the dentist yesterday for a cleaning and exam.

Laying there for an hour as my hygienist and dentist did their thing, I found myself thinking about gratitude. Rather than being annoyed or impatient, or wasting time spacing out, I brought to mind how fortunate I am at age 60 to have good teeth to eat with. I marveled at the specialized dental tools in the hands of a skilled caregiver removing plaque so effectively. I reminded myself of my good fortune there's a good dentist in my town at all; that I had the resources to go regularly. It was a powerful shift, and I was grateful for that in itself: that I'd remembered a deep truth about this life. There is so much to be grateful for.

Generally when I teach mindfulness I focus on the core truth that there's great value in learning to be more present — to "time travel" less. By which I mean less ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. While it's good to learn from what happened and plan for what's next, we so easily overdo this powerful mental ability and end up anxious and worried. Learning to be more present is genuinely valuable all by itself.

But in the Buddhist tradition the mental factor called sati in Pali — smṛti in Sanskrit — carries a strong connotation of remembering. It's not so specifically about being present.

In my practice lately I'm seeing how the Dharma wisdom I've studied, learned from teachers, and thought about over the last 40 years doesn't always come to the fore of my mind. If I'm honest, it might be fair to say it rarely does!

It's so easy to fall into our usual conditioning. Something bad happens, you don't like it, you complain, you try to get rid of it. Mindfulness — in this deeper sense — is bringing to mind the Dharma truths that apply to everything. To remember to examine the layers of assumption in these reactions: that the "bad" in something bad happening isn't as simple or true as the reactive mind makes it out to be; that our reactions often mask an attempt to reject realities like impermanence; or to avoid taking responsibility for our part in the situation; and that complaining not only brings no relief, it actually makes things worse.

So easily we forget. 

There are times when the important things are easy to remember!

We don't need to beat ourselves up for this forgetfulness and self-centeredness — we come by it honestly as conditioned beings. 

And the good news is that we can learn deeper truths. Truths that actually serve us well. Truths that relieve suffering through a deep and subtle understanding of the nature of suffering. 

We can learn them — that's wonderful. But all by itself that doesn't do a lot. We also have to remember to apply them. Especially when we're feeling the friction, or the pain, of living our lives in the topsy-turvy everyday realm the Buddhists named samsara.

On the way to the dentist I had driven by the blood bank. 

And so in the dentist's chair, remembering gratitude, I also remembered generosity. I remembered the text messages I'd gotten recently saying, "blood supplies were low, please come donate" — and how each time I'd felt a moment of sympathy and quickly forgotten as I swiped on to the next thing. 

I remembered how there's always some resistance to generous acts: I don't "want to" have one more obligation, one more appointment; I don't "want to" give away things like my hard-earned money or my blood. 

So as I remembered generosity in the context of gratitude, I remembered how deeply good it actually feels to tell that "I" to take a little break while the Buddha within gives to this world in need — with joy, and, yes, sometimes with tears.

So once I got home I made a blood donation appointment. I'm sure I'll be met by kind people at the blood bank who understand these truths, too. Their whole field is built on people remembering their generous hearts and giving away their own blood for strangers they'll never meet! An everyday miracle happening in communities all around the world.

So, dear friends, let's practice mindfulness in this deeper way too — as remembering the truths that bring real wellbeing and peace to a world that so easily strays into narrowness and suffering. Gratitude and generosity are high on my list right now, how about for you?

This is our true nature. And, thank goodness, it's possible to remember. Again.

With love and a deep bow,
Nomon Tim